Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays

Just wanted to wish everyone happy holidays. 

As for myself and the kiddios, we are doing well.  Last night, we made a trek of an hour and a half to go to a Christmas Eve worship service at a church we are building relationships with, and it was totally worth it.  We will be spending time with friends from church today, remembering the true reason for the holiday.

BoyWonder's birthday is on New Years Eve, so we will be home, having a sleepover that night (hopefully, the safest place for us...but even still, pray for my sanity!  7 or 8 boys, aged 12 to 14....good Jesus! What was I thinking?!?)

I Probably will not get back to this blog in the next week, but would like to wish you and yours a rather prosperous New Year.

Be safe out there, and make wise decisions!
Until next time...

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Had to write it...

So.  Ive been thinking about this post ALL DAY.  And here it is, 11:11pm, and I am just now bringing myself to do it.  Im hoping that i can keep this VERY short and sweet, just get to the point and get it over with.

A few days ago,a close friend of mine wrote This Blog, and of course I commented.  It was about her dreaming about a situation surrounding her deceased father, and her having to 'let go'.  I was close to tears reading it, and wondered in the comments if it would take something like that for me to begin letting go.  I mean, her father has been gone for years, and she's still grieving.  Daddy has only been gone since June2009, and it feels like the pain will never go away.


I was dreaming.  I was back in Muskegon, MI, visiting family, I'm guessing, since I really don't have any other reason to be there.  I don't really remember much of the dream, except the end.  I am sitting in the backseat of someone's SUV with my girl Peaches (who lives here in DC now, but we grew up together), and my cousin, Chris (who, ironically, still lives there, and is Lt. Fire Chief).  Its dark outside, and I'm guessing its around midnight, and we hear a marching band.

Marching band in Muskegon Hts. is a huge deal.  EVERYONE is in band...the Band Director, Mr. Moore, went to FAMU, and treated us like we were in college.  We played songs that were currently playing on the radio, formations were tight, we even danced.  Band was hot.

So when we heard the band at nearly midnight, we were slightly shocked, but knew they were getting some good work in.  I looked over at Peaches, who said something to the effect of "Go ahead, Mr. Moore, work them out!", and I smiled as well, knowing what she meant.

Band in the Heights...well Muskegon Hts. Tiger pride, is a huge thing within the alumni of the school, so there are always community members volunteering to do whatever they can to help out.  Former band members (now middle aged adults) often march alongside of the band, for safety reasons, as well as to keep lines straight, march steps on time, etc.

For some reason, I think we wanted to get out of the SUV and watch, so my cousin opens my door, and I look out at the band.

"Oh my God, that's my daddy".

I saw him, but he didn't see me.  He was too busy making sure the band members were doing the right thing.  He was waving at the neighbors who came out to watch the band (at midnight, like it was a parade).  He was smiling and he was happy, but he didn't see me.  I began crying, bawling hysterically.  I don't know what else happened around me...I just remember crying.

And then I woke up.

It hurt my feelings to wake up.  I saw La at church today, and she thanked me for commenting on her blog, and I poured this story out...and by the end, we were both in tears.

I don't know what this means...but I had to get it out.  I wish I had a dream interpreter...or at least an appointment with Dr. Sistagirl...

Until next time...

Friday, November 12, 2010

An Update


once again,it's been a minute, but believe me, this blog hasn't been the only thing neglected. I've been crazy is what it is!

So. I got an AMAZING second job. AMAZING. No, really...its AMAZING. I don't think I can stress that enough.

So, since the cancer, I've been on this whole 'natural hair kick'. The first products I used were by Oyin Handmade, a really small company run by a husband and wife (and HoneyBaby) team...where everything is (duh) handmade in small batches. Well, they have grown a bit, and have a staff now, and are still equally as amazing as they were when they started. I have been a fan since the whole 'incident' of losing my hair (actually, before it began before that...but still)...I mean a HUGE fan. Stalkerish, even.

So imagine my glee when they tweeted an open position in their Baltimore kitchen! Talk about excited..I IMMEDIATELY emailed my completely irrelevant and lacking of past experience though I really have some resume to the GrandMixtress herself. Then imagine the smile I had on my face when I got the email asking me to come in for an interview (which was scheduled for a Tuesday, but I literally BEGGED to do it ealier, IF they were available...which they were!!) And then imagine the outrageous squeal that I had to choke back when I saw the phone ring...and I was happy when my lights flashin cuz Oyin's on my receiver, OH! (No Lady Gaga).

So I am officially an Oyin HoneyBee, a.k.a. WorkerBee. I work 'in the lab', cooking up all of the goodies that I love so much. I do still work with my students, this is now my morning job. But of course, with working 2 jobs, one of which is in Ballamo' (as my lovely co-workerBees like to claim it) I'M DOG TIRED. My bad for neglecting yall reader folk for a minute...but I've been sleeping so well since starting!

SideNote: I haven't been seeing Dr.Sistagirl. She came down with a crazy allergy issue, and has to have some sort of surgery, so its been weeks. I honestly haven't worried about it either...but one of my good friends has, which got me to thinking about it. Wonder how THAT is helping me out...

The kiddios are doing great. The Cadet is in the kitchen fixing me a perfectly browned grilled cheese sammich as I type this #BeingACookingTeensMomROCKS! Boy Wonder seems to be getting along nicely (fighting back when he needs to, ugh!) and Bean is Bean. She gets along with everyone (except her brothers) all the time. As expected.

...and as I type this, someone is annoying Bean. Gotta go put out an AYD fire...until next time...

Monday, October 25, 2010

Natural Hair Ramblings... hair has been doing all sorts of wonderful beautimous things lately, and I think I am slightly turning into a product junkie. Not a great thing, since I live in an apartment with limited space, but if I don't try a bunch of things, how will I know what works for me...right? Right.

So, for this past week, I've been wearing my hair in 2strand twists....which I absolutely love, because I don't have to wet and comb the bush, and the twists are so versatile. I curled the ends of them using just a spritz of water, then slept in flex rods overnight, and the curls are still there. (That's THEE best!) I invested in a great, cooking grade coconut oil and have been applying lightly here and there. Last night, I untwisted and shook, then "loose bunned" them for sleeping(I did this so I wouldn't mat them while sleeping). I just let the bun down,and am in love with my hair today. Just thought I'd share.

The plan for the hair this week is to wear the twist out for as long as I can, as long as it still looks good. Then I need to deep condition, and might either retwist, or braid this mass up. I'm thinking of adding a little bit of baking soda to the conditioner, and letting it sit for a few hours, possibly even overnight before rinsing. I have a new product that I'd like to try...but its one of those "big name" products, and honestly, I'm a little scared. I can't pinpoint why...maybe I'm afraid I'll be disappointed...who knows, but I am.

My hair is the longest its been in years now. When it was twisted, it had the weight it needed to hang down...and its almost reaching BSL (Bra Strap Length). I am excited to see how my hair has grown, and can't wait to see what all I can do with it. 4 years ago, I had completed my cancer treatments, and ended up cutting off my hair to keep from shocking myself when it all began to fall out. Lucky for me, I didn't have the usual baldness associated with cancer...but still, after having shoulder length locs, any loss was a big one. So today, I am celebrating what I do have.

Yeah...just like me...a rambling blog. Ha. Funny. Hope you was just on my mind.

Until next time...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Boredom Breeds (a repost from MySpace)

I was going through some of my MySpace blogs from back in the day (while was in college), and came across this one, which I remember so vividly. Take a look:

May 15, 2007 - Tuesday

Boredom Breeds...literally, in this case
Current mood: distressed
So for the past week, I haven't been around, as you may or may not have noticed, because I was in Idlewild, Michigan, performing my play "The Colored Museum". We take a play from Eastern Michigan University up there every summer, in hopes of helping to revitalize this once booming Black Community back into what it was in its heyday.

After one of the shows, I was speaking to an beautiful elderly woman (her silver hair was so shiny and neat...I hope my gray hair turns out as beautifully regal as hers did), and she told me how much she liked the show, but she didn't think that very many people understood it. The play is a satirical account of the black experience in has funny moments, but was written to make black folks uncomfortable enough that they think about their own lives (If you've never heard of it, look it up. "The Colored Museum" by George C. Wolfe)

You see, Idlewild is based in Lake County, Michigan...the poorest county in the state. That means that unemployment rates are high, and not many folks go to, or have gone to college. We come there, trying to persuade the high school students to get out of there, and see the world-through college first. We do this by offering a workshop a few weeks before we get there, and then even having some of the high school students work on our show as interns. One of the girls who interned for us 3 years ago just finished her freshman year at EMU, and we are so proud of her.

Anyway...this woman and I were chatting about how the we changed some of the language in the play, to make it more PG than the PG13 it had been before...and she told me that her favorite scene was one where a man was throwing out all of his childhood items, because he had to conform to society...but the boy inside of him was torn over the issue. The boy said "you can't forget your past...its always there with you", and it made a great impact on this woman. She went on and on about it, but was disappointed that not too many others 'got it'. Then she went on to ask me what the high schoolers thought of it, since we did a private show for them. I told her that they laughed through most of it, since it was funny, but they didn't really understand most of it...with the exception of a scene called "Permutations"...a scene about a teenage girl, who had sex with the garbage man, and instead of having a baby, she laid an egg, and then had to defend herself from her mother.

This was sad, but true. Many times last week, my fellow actors and I spoke on how boring being in Idlewild was. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to see. No cable to watch. Cell phones barely had any service. The nearest McDonalds was a half hour away, and the highlight of their week was driving a half hour to the nearest WalMart. The high school kids really had nothing better to do than lay down and get pregnant, so that they'd have something to do...if you have a baby to take care of, you're not bored anymore!

The woman and I stood there discussing this for a few minutes. I told her that we do our best to set a good example, and try to encourage them to come to college...she said that's great of us to do, but it won't work. Their mommas don't want them to leave...if a child leaves, that mean less money from the government. If that child stays and has a baby, that's more money. She said that in most households around there, you had 5 generations living in one house, the oldest being 65, then 45, then 30, then 15, and newborn. (Sad, isn't it?) And all because they know that the more folks you have in a household, the bigger your check is. Even one of the interns we had this year was celebrating her first Mother's Day.

The intern asked me about my family. I told her I had 3 babies, and it was no shock to her. The other 2 women in the cast, 23 and 20 had none, which did shock her. Then I told her that all of my kids had the same father. AND we were married. AND I was 'of age' to have them...(she thought I was 24...and 'bout near pissed on herself when I told her my real age)

I guess the point of my story is this; why wouldn't a parent want better for their child? What would I look like telling my kids "no, you cant go to college, you cant make yourself better, i want you to depend on me and this welfare check for the rest of your life!"

Have we really become so complacent in this world? Our elders feel like they cant trust the young people, because we haven't been taught well by our own parents (in most cases, their children), and that we aren't teaching our children to lead in the way They (the elders) need them to.

I don't want to be this way...


True, I wrote this 3 years ago, but it still hits me so hard. I look at my life now, and see the girls I teach. I see my own kids, and I see the kids I go to church with. Its amazing how your environment can dictate your outcome, if you allow it to.

Readers, what are your thoughts? Please share...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I am (not?) my hair...

Yesterday, I went to program with my hair out. Its HUGE right now. Of course, Saturday, I had an audition, and its common to have your hair the same way for the audition that you have it styled in your headshots, and because my hair is pretty versatile right now, my headshots were taken with the big hair. Of course, it can always be pulled back, so I have a smaller shot on the resume' side showing that. Its been kinda rainy and humid around here these past few days, so I thought nothing of just letting the fro go until the weather dried up. yesterday was another rainy day, and because I don't really cover my hair in the rain (its just hair...and its just rain. They go well together), and it just got bigger as the day went along.

I must admit,it felt good to not having to pull it back or up and out of the way.

When my students walked into the room (only 1 of our returners came yesterday, so it was all of the new girls), they all reacted in some way. Of course, I had prepared for that, and made sure I didn't make a big deal of it. We make sure that when they walk in, the focus is on them, not us. So I would just comment quickly, and change the subject to something about them.

One girl had a big reaction..."OH WOOOOW"....I said "yeah. How are you? How was your weekend?", quickly changing the subject. She couldn't stop gawking at it. It was a little uncomfortable, but I didn't sit and think about that much, I had students to tend to.

As the day went on, she began making comments about my hair. "Who did your hair?" I did. "What did you do to it?" I just wet it, added a little bit of product. But it gets curly with water.

And then she said "Girl please...those are tracks. I mean, its cute, but those are tracks".

Right then, I wanted to breathe hellfire on this child and shut her up. Like, seriously...for real? Tracks? For real?

Now, I have seen some really cute weave/track styles around here...and right now, everyone does want the curly fro style, so they add the tightly coiled tracks and pull the curls I can see how she'd confuse me with this. However, our lone returning student told her that it was my real hair. She then asked me again if it were tracks, and I told her no, you can scratch my scalp and everything (not that I'd really let her though).

She kept going on and on about the tracks, and I actually had to turn my back on this girl, because I was really getting angry about this. Then she asked my co-worker about my hair, the one Ive been working with for almost 2 years now. "What did you think when you first saw Miz Rayawwwwna's tracks?" "That's her real hair..."...I later found out that co-worker had heard her talking about these 'tracks' all day, but never realized she was talking about me, and found it funny.

I am very protective about my hair. I tell people to please ask before touching it, because it bothers me when you just stick your hands all up there. I don't let people 'play' in my hair. I believe it comes from losing it to cancer treatments...and then being so scared when it grew back.

Something no one knows (this is my first time ever admitting it) doctor told me to cut my hair off after one of my locs came out in my hands. I was already in radiation, and it was breaking down the keratin in my body. I had nails that fell off, and my nose and ears bruised easily, feeling mushy even. I had known for a few weeks that my hair would be next...he said I may no go chemo bald, but I should expect to lose hair.

I made it sound like I was wrestling with cutting off my hair...I guess, looking back, I really was. I didn't want to do it, not at all. When I finally got the nerve together, I went to Dwight and had him cover the mirror as he cut my locs off. I still have a small handful around here, in a bag. For the first few weeks, when things were ugly and uneven, I wore scarves, exclusively. I was so ashamed of having no hair.

When I finally did reveal it, I got a few shocked glances...but that was it. Mind you, I was still in college at the time, and a few of my girlfriends had all just shaved their heads too, but for fashionable/personal reasons. I guess everyone just thought I was going along with the trend, and honestly, that was cool with me. I didn't have to explain this to anyone, not even my roommate. Basically, I allowed my silence/indecision on the matter to lie for me, and not let anyone know what was going on with me.

I had to think about why this girl's comment about tracks made me so angry, and I think that's it! It took me so long (4 years almost to the day) to get my hair back to where I am completely comfortable with it. For someone to insist that it was fake offended me completely. Did she know that? No. Would I let her know? Absolutely.

I also had to think about her and her situation. Was she really making fun of me, or was she admiring me in her own 7th grade way? Both are possible, but I am choosing to see it the latter way. She is a young lady who is maybe 12, trying to fit in, trying to be cool. She doesn't have alot of hair, and usually just wears hers back in a ponytail, nothing fancy, nothing special. Her environment tells her that if you want long hair, or hair that is big and puffy, you buy it and sew it in. She is just coming to me from her own experiences. She may or may not think she's cute (one of her shout outs yesterday was to herself "Because she's pretty"...we find that many of them stress their looks when they are actually very insecure about them, as a false sense of security), and may think I am the opposite of what her personal thoughts of 'cute' are.

By the end of the day, I had calmed down. As we walked out of the classroom to our closet when we put all of our materials for the night, somehow I realized that she and I were ahead of the rest of the group. I told her quietly "It hurts my feelings when people comment on my hair being fake. I used to have cancer, and didn't have any hair, and it took a long time for it to get this long. So it really hurt my feelings when you kept saying that." Her mouth dropped open wide, and she didn't say anything. I told her "see you tomorrow", and smiled.

I shared this with my co-workers in debrief, and explained that I don't know if she really listened to my whole statement, or stopped listening at the word cancer...but they assured me, she heard it.

I never really thought I'd ever be so touchy about my hair...ah well...

Until next time...

Monday, October 4, 2010

Is it just me?

Quite a few things have been going on in my life this past week or so...nothing huge or life threatening...but now that things have calmed down, I figured I'd share.

My alma mater (Eastern Michigan University) ran this mess right here, and I had to be a whistle blower on it. I mean, I was APPALLED when I saw it! I wrote an e-mail to the editor of the paper, editor of the comics section and CC'd the University President, as well as the president of the alumni association, Black Alumni Assn., Center for Multi-Cultural Affairs, Diversity Involvement (I used to work in that office at school), Black Student Union, Campus NAACP, as well as the Channel 7 news (who's website you have been referenced to). I received a response from the comics editor, basically citing "freedom of speech", and that I should submit a letter to the editor, to be featured in an upcoming issue of the Echo. Also, he apologized to me...blah blah blah. I am an ALUM!! I appreciate his concerns for my feelings, but what about the rest of the students on campus, who this will actually affect? I let them know in my letter,

"Though I am no longer on campus, I can only imagine the tension this will cause. I am wondering how this racially charged comic was chosen to represent the artist on that day, and why it was then chosen to be displayed publicly. Hopefully, this will not cause so much tension on campus that violence will be the result, but I am more than certain that there will be demonstrations and protests. Please plan accordingly. This is not a threat in any way, but even from here in the Washington, D.C. area, I can see that the result of this posting will not turn out well.

I am hoping that the advisory team and editors of the Echo will use better judgment when it comes to publishing content in the Echo."

The response:

"We realize some readers found the comic offensive, however, we feel the message contained within was worthy of publication. The message in the comic was that symbols people find morally reprehensible, like the kkk and nooses in trees, are adored by a select few, and that same select few assign sentimental attachment to things no sensible person would. The joke is at the sheer absurdity of the situation and directed at the klansmen within it. Therefore, we apologize to those whose sensibilities were offended, but we reserve the right to publish opinions and ideas that might be considered offensive to some in the interest of furthering open and public discourse.
I encourage you to write a letter-to-the-editor to be published in an upcoming issue. Here is the address of our Opinions Editor..." I get the point. However, most of the students on campus are not going to look into the 'point' or 'message'...they will see 'the picture' and GO OFF! They will see Klan hoods and nooses, and TRIP! Honestly, I have to admit that it took a few looks before I even saw the point. I happen to know that the BSU met this past Sunday night, and are probably already laying on floors, drawing out their posters of protest, working closely with the NAACP to figure out the best plan for the day.

I am not a political person, at all. But I could not sit back and let this one go!

Facebook. And Dr. Sistagirl. She sees me wanting to mother/sister/friend/counsel so many in my life...which is why I can't focus on myself and my household. She asked me how many friends I have on Facebook...1274. No...I'm not super popular. I got on Facebook back in 2006, when it first started, and was for college students. I was also the President of my organization at the time, and we used Facebook for all of our advertisements at the time, so all of our members befriended EVERYONE we knew on campus, even if it were just by face. We'd then send mass invites, and always kept a crowd at our events. Over the years, I have gained friends in real life, on MySpace, from shows that I've been in, etc., etc. I just never got rid of any of them on Facebook.

So...I had to make some cuts. I don't need to know all of these folks business, folks I haven't seen in years, folks I have NEVER spoken to...even folks who live next door, but we don't speak on the regular. As I type this, I am down to 675 friends...and still cutting. My goal is to get down to 400 or less...which is not easy. Shoot, it wasn't easy cutting those that I already have...but I already see a difference. I have to find other things to keep my mind on...Ive started 2 new craft projects, I just finished a flower girl basket for a friend's wedding, and am finishing another book. More time to focus on bettering me...rather than taking in everyone else's drama.

I auditioned for a new play this weekend. I also participated in a page to stage reading (basically, reading the play from the script...often used to try newly written plays out on audiences, to get reactions). I LOVE being an actress, and hope that I can continue being a performer.

I am also back in program regularly with my students. We only had 5 girls return from past years, and so far have 6 new girls, with room for 7 more. Getting to know these new girls has been a challenge, because the returning girls expect the same attention they have always gotten from the staff. In the past, we knew all of their personalities, and were able to balance out the attention...but in learning the new girls, this is kind of hard...and no one wants to be patient and wait it out. But wait, this is middle school--who has time to be patient? lol...I will admit though...I still love it.

There you have it. My life in a nutshell for the past week or so. I am preparing a natural hair blog for a faithful reader, and knitting a gray winter hat for another. I appreciate you guys for your support, your reads, your comments. Thanks for hanging in there with me. Let me know if there is anything I can address for you...even if its just some random question. I need things to focus on, and I certainly don't mind you being one of I contradicting the whole Facebook deletion thing? Nah...there aren't 1200 of you. Ask away!

Til next time...

Monday, September 20, 2010

Single Mommas: "That's just what we do"

Single-momma-hood. It happens. For whatever reason, however, happens. Some single momma's never intend to be single momma's, and hate it. Some start out in a 2 parent situation, and things 'don't work out'. Some are single from the beginning. Some choose to be a single momma. I'm sure there are other situations as well....but none-the-less, we are still Single Momma's.

So yesterday, I posted a blog about how I was sick, and woke up at an awful hour, trying to deal with the sickness. I went about my day, doing my best to nurse myself (and the Cadet, who's a little under the weather as well, and too 'big' for kiddie meds). I went to church, thinking that as the day went along, I'd get better, as long as I was drinking lots of fluids, taking meds, and taking it easy.

The music ministry always rehearses before we sing before the congregation on Sunday mornings, so I figured, "I just won't push it today". We were already joking that I'd be singing bass instead of soprano, because of how that cold had me sounding when I talked. We began to warm-up to on of the songs we'd be singing yesterday, and I could barely make it through. I'm so glad we were sitting down, because I would have had to! I could not draw in a proper breath to get through a 2 minute song! I knew I had to give it up for the day. I let the rest of the group know, humbling out a bit, because I LOVE worshipping with them, but I needed to take care of myself. I gathered my things, and went and found myself a seat in the congregation, all the while sweating and puffing on my inhaler. I ended up sitting in the third row, a couple of seats down from our oldest member, Miss Doris...a beautiful, 97 year old lady who is always one of the first people in the church, is always encouraging, still gets around on her own, and is such an inspiration. She just lost her final living family member, her daughter, earlier this summer. Yet she is still so faithful to God, and continues to live her life to the full. I sat a couple of seats down from her, because I didn't want to spread my germs to her and possibly get her sick, yet she encouraged me to come to the spot directly next to her. She told me "I usually get to see you onstage, you think I want to miss the treat of having you next to me?" I explained that I'm not onstage today because I'm sick, and didn't want to spread my germs to her. She then told me "Well, I will have to take my chances. Your flesh is weak, but your spirit is willing. Both of mine are strong and willing right now, so please, sit closer." How can I argue with that. As I sat, blowing my nose, sipping my ginger/lemon water and coughing, she rubbed my back, and continued with praising God, like this was nothing new.

For years, she was a single momma. Not that she meant to be, but she was. Her husband had passed away. She just did 'what we do'.

I passed on going to rehearsal after church, going to the youth ministry meeting, and instead brought myself and the kiddios home. I got on my nebulizer, took some cold meds and went to sleep. I ended up waking up, and going grocery shopping, but even that was physically draining. As soon as I came in the house, I got back on the nebulizer, trying to clear my airways. Being on the machine had a greater effect as well; the medicine helps to break up the mucus in my throat, so I was coughing and spitting as I sat there. After the treatment, I came back into my bedroom, to sit and chill. I let the kiddios know that I wasn't feeling well, and had bought them a DiGiorno at the store. Having a cooking 14 year old Cadet, I knew they were in good hands. The most I have to worry about, I thought, was the arguing over who would use the computer vs. the Wii. And that was exactly right.

Right around 8pm, I was feeling really short of breath, so I got back on the nebulizer for my third breathing treatment of the day. For some reason, it just wasn't working though. I mean, it was still breaking up the mucus, which is a good side effect, but what good is having side effects if the end result isn't there?

So I had Bean get in the shower at 8:30 as usual, to begin our nightly routine. Boy Wonder had gone into his room to draw, and the Cadet was the only one still in the living room. I called him into my room to tell him what my plan was. I let him know that I was going to the emergency room. The kiddios and I are all asthmatics, and have all had to go to ER's because of asthma, so he knew why I was going. Our nebulizer here at the house just wasn't strong enough for what I needed here, plus at the hospital, they have more specialized meds according to your symptoms. I let him know that I wanted to wait until everyone was getting ready for bed, that I would go, get treated and be right back home, since it wasn't a serious situation. He understood, and wasn't scared when I asked him if he was. He admitted he was a little worried though, but he was glad I was going. I told him to make sure he had his phone on and the ringer loud, and to text me as the night went on, and call me right before he went to bed.

As I went to the ER, I let a couple of people know, folks that I knew would be able to go and help the kids should I need them to, or that would be able to come and help me in the same way. I went to the ER that I knew wouldn't be crazy packed (thank God it wasn't)...but because I was so short of breath, and it was hurting my chest, I was immediately seen (so immediate that they printed my bracelet in triage, and I signed papers in my room, going to registration on my way out). I was checked into the ER at 9:10pm, and discharged at 10:51. I was back home, playing on Facebook by 11:28.

I was asked "why did you go alone" and "who's with you?"...I went alone because I had no one else to go with me. I didn't want to interrupt the kiddios schedule, and pack them all up to come with me. my kiddios are old enough to stay home for a couple of hours by themselves. I knew I wouldn't be gone all night, and if I were, I had people who could get to them quickly. I went alone because I had no one else here to go with me, but NEEDED to go. I'm a single momma. That's just what I do.

I make decisions all the time because I am a single momma. Last year, Bean and Boy Wonder used to come to my job everyday after school, because it kept them close to me, and it kept me from having to pay for after school care, something a single income household cannot budget for. I've had to swallow my 'pride' and go apply for government benefits, because they are all asthmatic and need medical insurance, as well as food benefits. No, it doesn't feel good, but I know that I go to work everyday, and that the kiddios SEE me working hard, and appreciating what we DO have, instead of 'taking advantage of the system'. Even the job I have-I wanted something that wouldn't have me bringing stresses home with me...where I can actually plan to go to parent/teacher conferences, where I can come home and help with homework. I have that job, and it has even taught me how to better deal with and raise them.

Back in the day (in college) I sold my (maternal) eggs to an in-vitro company...I got paid VERY well for only 6 weeks worth of work (like 2 months rent and all of Christmas well)...because its what I had to do. I've been making sacrifices for so long, that I can't even remember what most of them are to list them. (Last week, I didn't post because I had to let the cable get cut off...Bean needed a new school sweater, #KanyeShrug) But these are things that i have learned to live without, because I'm a single momma...and making these decisions now come easy to me. They didn't always...but over the years, I've learned to just 'let them'.

I came into single-momma-hood by choice, I like to say. We were married after the boys were born, divorced before Bean turned one. I could have stayed, but it wasn't the right choice. I made the decision to pick up the kids and go, and haven't really looked back. I wouldn't suggest this route for everyone, especially since everyone's case is different. But I had a great support system (still do!), and I have learned what works and what doesn't. I've found myself a little more independent than maybe I should be, and am still learning to let people in, and LET them help me if they offer. Single mommas will know that this is hard to do...since we have had to depend on self for so long.

Single mommas, speak out. Think about some of the things you "just do" for your kids, that others may never have to. Those of you who aren't single parents, take a listen. I cannot say thanks enough to the friends that I have (especially the men/fathers/husbands) who take time out from their own lives to help mine out. If you are able, find a single parent home, and 'adopt' them. I'm not saying that you need to provide for them financially...but maybe let the kids hang with you for a night so mom can go to a movie, or for a Saturday afternoon so she can nap/go grocery shopping alone/sit and watch a movie with a rating over PG-13, lol. Spend time with the kids individually; this is something that a single momma may not be able to do if she has more than one. Though this doesn't seem like much, believe me, it will be. Alot of single mommas don't get alone time, and would more than appreciate it, plus the kids would love a change of scenery.

I would love to hear what you guys think...

...until next time...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Since I've been up for 2 hours already, might as well blog...

by the way, its 6:50 in the a.m. Sleep, schmeep.

So, I am sitting here, hacking my life away...well, coughing...(since I'm on a computer, hacking takes on another meaning)...and the coughing STARTED as TERRIBLE allergies...but has somehow morphed itself into one great blazes of a cold. PERFECT TIMING! Here I was, trying to medicate my allergy situation...and then the weather wants to go and change on me, and my throat starts feeling all scratchy...and now I'm a nose blowing, phlegmmy mess.

And of course, we are leaving on Tuesday for a singing engagement in Texas. As I said before, PERFECT TIMING. Thank you, mother nature.

So, I've been drinking a lovely concoction of hot water, honey, fresh ginger root and lemon all day/night, trying to break up some of the mess caught in my throat, and making sure it certainly doesn't creep into my chest. I already has asthma...pneumonia would not be attractive on me (not at all).

Anyone have any other suggestions for what I should do? (Ki, I was broke...but now that I've got a few $$, I'll rush right to CVS and grab some Emergen-C, and slam it down 3xs a day!) OOH, chicken soup (the fat from the chicken helps to carry out the phlegm!)...

but any other suggestions?

So yesterday, I went to a natural hair meetup/workshop/seminar...and while the 'keynote speaker' was kind of boring...I mean, she gave great advice and info (while pushing her own line of products, of course), her voice was so dry, and quiet. She didn't want to use the microphone provided for her, because she liked to talk with her hands. 15 minutes into her schpiel, I was tweeting, Facebooking and foursquaring my life away.

It was pretty cool to go into a situation alone. I mean, I'd been to these things before (in Detroit, so that means 2+ years ago), and I usually went with other people. This time, I saw the info, set the date, paid the amount due, and got myself together. There was a product swap, so I took 3 trade-able products with me. @ of them were products I loved (but have since purchased larger sizes of) and one was an "eh for me...meaning, it was okay, but it didn't hurt my feelings to give it up. I ended up getting 3 partially used, and possibly hated by the former owners products, 2 of which are more than $20 per jar. Go me! Also, as we walked in, for pre-paying (versus paying at the door) I received a free jar of unrefined shea butter, and a complimentary berry mimosa! Later on, I won a prize for using oneof the most "interesting" foods on my hair (ginger paste...helped my scalp eczema!), as well as the contest for fiercest "going out" hairstyle. By the time I left out of there, I had a bag FULL of goodies...and basically paid $20 to get them all (plus some great fish tacos!)

It was interesting to talk with some of the other natural women there. Some didn't feel that I am natural because I color my hair. Personally, I see natural as anyone who does not chemically relax their hair. True, I could be even more natural if I didn't 'chemically color' my hair, but #1, henna and all of those other natural ways of coloring your hair are messy or don't work on my hair, and #2, if I didn't color it, I'd probably end up cutting it instead. #2 is NOT AN, oh well. I also found it amazing that there were so many naturals who are afraid to do their own hair! I mean, I understand that they may have been forced to cut off hair due to breakage, or whatever...but then to be afraid to do something to it? A lady next to me had just paid $75 the day before to get her hair washed and styled in loose 2 strand twists...something I sit and do while watching tv! I guess I have just been taking for granted the great education I got while I was in college...and no, not from Eastern Michigan University.

I had a friend at EMU who taught me most of the things I needed to know about my natural hair, how to style it, what to use and why, how to manipulate it, etc. She actually started a set of my locs for me as well. If it weren't for her, I'd probably either be bald or relaxed right now. But the situation today made me realize that not everyone has a Cheri like I did...and that's a problem. Having gone through cosmetology school myself, I KNOW for a fact that natural hair care is not taught. The only thing we did with natural hair besides wash and condition it was learn how to use a pressing comb on it. No wonder Miss Jessie's salon can charge $400 to do your natural hair! Everyday stylists haven't been properly educated on natural styling, and they have a monopoly on the market! I've rambled on enough to know that I should go ahead and hop in the shower and get myself ready for church. I think I'm going to do big hair today, since I'm already half way there as it is...

Until next time...

Friday, September 17, 2010

"I Got you I'm reacting..." (Dionne, "Allergies, from her album "Unrealistic")

So yeah....
I never had issues with allergies when I lived in Michigan...but the DC area just DOES NOT want to let up on me when it comes to punishments, so here I am, sandpaper-eyed, snotty nosed and sinus pressured. THANKS DMV!

Went and saw Dr. Sistagirl today,my psychologist, who needed to know all of the business and goings on with me this past week. I let her know that I have been so paranoid because of a certain situation in my home, which has me sleeping in my living room instead of my bedroom...that my financial situation isn't where it should be, and these allergies are kickin my butt! She says that right now, she sees it causing a 'situational depression' within me...meaning that when these situations have passed, she thinks I will go back to being my old self. Let's hope that is the situation.

So next week, "touring for Jesus" begins again, and although I'm broke, I am quite excited at the same time! Its amazing, that with all of the stuff (and the mess!) that I go through, how happy singing truly makes me! Not to mention the fact that I still wonder how (of all people) I was one of the chosen...

So...enough rambling...time to open it up to you readers.

As of yet, I don't know exactly what I am allergic to. I currently take Zyrtec, a 24 hour anti-histimine, drink lots of tea, eat lots of fruits and nuts. Do you have any suggestions as to how I ccan deal with this mess until the allergy
season subsides? What do you do, if you too are a sufferer?

and, as usual...if there is any topic you'd like me to touch upon, be it questions about kids, or singing...or anything at all, please email me at, and I will do my best to give you my point of view on the subject.

Until next time...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Kids these days...

So clearly, you can see by my picture up there (if you didn't already know me) that I am a light bright. I mean, I'm bi-racial...nothing new about that. Though (I can now proudly boast)I am a slight 2 shades darker due to my world tour this summer. kids are just as light skinned as I am. Well, the Cadet is darker, but that's because he's always been one to stay outside in the sun, where as Boy Wonder (J) and Bean pretty much hang indoors (their asthma is worse than the Cadet's, and poor air qualities contribute to their indoors-ed-ness.

So, I come home today, and talk to the kids about their day, as I always do. Turns out that Bean realized today that she is one of 4 girls in her school that has locs...everyone else is a boy or adult. That's pretty cool, I tell her. Then she tells me about how somebody in her class got her nerves, but she shut them up, "but in a nice way, mom, I promise" of course, Ive gotta hear this.

"So ______ says he never saw a white girl with locs before, and I tell him I'm not white. he says 'yuh-huh, you are too white'"

Bean explains to me, very plainly "I cracked his face momma. I told him "I'm not white, but my grandma is" and he didn't even know what to think. He is still prolly sitting there tryin to figure it out."

That was her telling Him...but in a nice way.
Go Bean!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

shameless plug!

So, those who know me may (or may not) know that I have HUGE curly hair...I have been natural for years now, since losing my hair to cancer. I have been an active member of online hair communities for years now as well.

I was featured on Black Girl with Long Hair today, and am excited and honored!

Check It Out!

Back to School has come and gone...

and I'm still waiting to begin work.

Well...let me backtrack. I'm 'working'...but in the office. We haven't started the afterschool program just yet, so I haven't met this years' students. We ended up with 10 students (out of the 18 we began with), and of those, 4 of them were 8th graders who graduated from our program, and (Thankfully) went to high school. Of the 6, we believe that 5 are returning, as one moved to another school district. Which means that we now have 13 slots for new girls....WHEW. This will not be easy!

As for my own kiddios, this year has been quite interesting. Q had a hard time last year...wait...hard time my butt, he was downright lazy, and we weren't sure he was going to make it out of 8th grade. I went to conferences, talked to counselors, helped with projects, etc., but he just wasn't getting the grades we expected.

Then I realized that Its wasn't me, it was HIM. He was being lazy! I couldn't sit in class and do the work for him; couldn't do his homework; couldn't be there at school to tell him to turn the work in. These were all things he was supposed to be doing. But...he just wasn't...had no reason for it,just wasn't.

So when April came around, and he was in danger of failing (and I received that retention letter from the school district), I told him I was washing my hands of the situation. If he wanted to be back at the same middle school next year, wearing that same blue shirt, that was fine with me. It took me a minute to get there, but I was resolved to be okay with my son being an 8th grader AGAIN. I wasn't happy with it, but if this is how he's gonna learn his lesson...

It turns out though, that maybe my letting go was what he needed. I wasn't there to hold his hand, to push him through. He actually applied himself and JUST BARELY made it out of 8th grade. We won't even speak on his grade point average, because Yes, it was shameful...he wanted to apply to go to the high school around the corner that has an amazing Arts program...but you had to meet the minimum GPA before you could even apply. So much for that.

So, all he was left with was our neighborhood school...which is a military academy. All students are enrolled in the Army JROTC program. Everyday, they are in full regalia and uniform. They are called by last names, and he is currently a Cadet. We had to shave his locs (boy, was he upset about that!), to comply with uniform regulations. (Actually, I took him to his first day of a 3 day orientation...they told him that first morning "we don't want to see your 'hair' tomorrow"). He was angry all summer about how he didn't want to go to this school because he didn't want to be yelled at everyday. I explained that "Its not boot camp, its high school", but he still wasn't having it, even though all of his neighborhood friends go there, and tried to tell him.

He just left a couple of minutes ago, beginning his third week of school. I have already noticed a change in him. He dresses in his uniform everyday, pants at his waist, uniform pressed by the cleaners, tie tight, shoes shined, belt just right, name tag and ID perfectly placed. He comes home everyday, sits at the table, DOES HIS HOMEWORK, even helps his sister when she needs it. He's still my 14 year old, but has somehow found something within himself to motivate himself. I had to let him know that I'd be here, but he is now 14...a high schooler, a teenager. I expect him to take care of business, but I also expect him to find himself. He needs a social life, he needs responsibility and he needs obligation. I think he is beginning to find all of this in this high school. Though he needs to find something to do after school now (because he's NOT coming back to my house to get in trouble! I''m not having that!). He's not really a 'sports' guy, so a sports team may not be for him, but there are clubs and things he can get into...

This is my firstborn. He's now 14 and taller than me, but I'm watching him grow into Himself. Its got a wow-factor that is sometimes overwhelming, especially as a single mom. I have to be honest, I'm starting to get scared, because now we are really coming into manhood, and I have no idea of what to do! When my brothers went through this, I wasn't really around, so I don't remember my parents examples. Dre moved to Texas with his biological father, and I was off doing my own teenage thing when Kemper was going through this (plus, he had just found out about his that took up most of his teen years, learning how to deal with that). The plan is to ask lots of advice, and to have the willing men and fathers from my church there to help guide him...but in the end, I am still momma. He is still 100% dependent on me, though he is learning how to gain his own independence. He is feeling out the world for himself, and instead of me reaching out to pull his hand back from the fire, I have to bite my lip, and allow him to scorch his own hand a bit. Its not easy (on my part or his...he's already shown me blisters that I have to take care of), but I am determined to help him be there best young adult he can be.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Welcome back!

Honestly, I don't know if I'm saying that to you, or to myself, lol.

Well, as you can see, there have been ALOT of changes up and around here...

My computer was stolen in the break in, so I had to wait until the insurance company hooked me up with this here new laptop. Yay.

Also, I can no longer write about the training I was taking for my students...which was wonderful, but also very copywritten. My Bad. I will admit, I thought it was great, but obviously, other folks do much so that they pay for it, and here I was, giving it away for free! Sorry yall! many things have happened since Ive 'been away'...a whole spring and summer's worth. Ive gone on trips for singing, trips for relaxation, and trips that opened my eyes to the world. I am still seeing my wonderful therapist, and Boy Wonder (J) has begun seeing her as well. Big Shoulders/Q started high school this fall...had to cut off his locs and everything...and I now refer to him as The Cadet, since that's what he is referred to at his military high school now. Bean is just as social as ever...nothing's changed there.

I've done alot of growing these past few months as well. I have really thrown myself into this singing ensemble that I am a part of, and we've been "touring for Jesus" as some folks like to call its funny, because its true! We went to a huge National christian conference back in July...went a few other places, and now preparing to go south later this month. Our CD is in the process of being released...and I'm claiming it like its my own, when really I'm just a background singer...but its one of the best things that's ever happened to me...and I can't take a lick of credit for it either.

Dr. Lady is fabulous! I love going to see her, because not only is she faith based, but she sees things that I don't have to speak upon...and she's helped me through alot of things. I have learned to get angry about things; to let things go; to be okay with doing things by myself. The kiddios were back home with my momma all summer, so I think I did a great job of testing out some of her theories (and I passed with flying colors!).

So yeah...I don't know where this blog is going from here...but I'm glad you're along for the ride. And hey...if you have anything you wanna know, just ask. I'm sure I can address it, whatever it may be...I'll at least give it a try!

Monday, March 15, 2010

OOH, Good Jesus...its been wild!

Recently, my posts have been dramatical*. Extra dramatical, even. This one is just as dramatical, I tell you. Here goes.

So, Friday, I wake up, and all is well. I talk to J about having to pick him up from school, because it is his first visit with the child psychologist, as he is beginning therapy for his childhood depression. I tell him I will be picking him up, then dropping him off again after the appointment.

I send all of the kids off to school, as usual. In the morning, if I am not swimming, I use this as my Me Time. I read my Bible, then spend my morning reading, watching TV and playing on my laptop, all from my bed, all at the same time.

I then shower, and prepare to leave the house to go get J. (Oh yeah, he sees his therapist in the same office where mine is, which is a beautiful thing...because if our therapists work together, its only going to help our household. Great therapists FTW**!)

I leave the house at 10:15, because his appointment begins at 10:45. Pick him up from school...go to the appointment (his therapist didn't come in, but he was okay with that...he got out of school, and was happy). My appointment ran from 11 to 11:50, and then we made our way back to school, where I dropped him off. I had a staff meeting at 12:30 to get to, but ran home to use the bathroom, and check my bank account online.

So I get in the apartment at noon, and run back to the bathroom in my room. I then dash over to my bed to grab the laptop...but its not there. "Now I know I just left it here..."...I look around and things are a mess. I look up at my dresser and my TV is gone...the cable cord dragged across the room. Oh No.

I run back up front and see that under the TV where the kids play video games...everything is gone. The Wii. Its 4 controllers, and the docking station for those controllers. The games (a few are left, scattered). The Wii wheels (for driving games)...all accessories...everything. There is a chair in front of the window, with muddy foot prints on it that carry themselves throughout my dining room.

Ive had a break-in. I call my job, tell them I can't come in. Then call the police. Officers are on their way, don't touch anything.

While all of this is sinking in...I decide to start taking pictures on my phone of stuff I notice missing.

Then I here my patio screen door slide.
I hear the blinds being pulled back.
The thief has returned.

About 25 feet from me is the thief, returning for another round of thievery, I assume. I starting screaming "Get out, get out of my house"...(of course, I had to confess, there were some expletives that came out as well, forgive me)...he froze, obviously surprised to see me back home so quickly. Then he bolted back out of the door, and by the time I got there, he was gone of not knowing which way he went either.

I went back inside and called 911.

Blah Blah Blah...police came...I don't feel safe...he knows where I live, saw my face...

I locked up EVERYTHING...doors, windows, fridge...anything I could. Went directly to the leasing office and told them "My apartment has been broken into. The thief came back to my apartment. I do not feel safe there. I have had problems with staying on the ground floor here (for other reasons)...I need you guys to either move me to another unit on another floor or break my lease". They gave me some story about needing approval, blah blah them back shortly, so they can call home office. Sure. I called 15 minutes later, and they got approval. Told them I needed maintenance to come fix my doors, and add some security to my windows.

I then went to pick up J and Bean from school...had to explain to them what happened...they actually took it alot better than I thought they would (though Bean bombards people with "We Got Robbed" as soon as she sees them, instead of "Hi, how are you?"). Then I wanted to go pick up Q from school, since he rides the bus home, and usually gets home when no one else is there...I didnt want him to come home to an empty, ransacked house.

It was raining. Roads were wet, and the oil is beginning to rise to the surface, after being held down under snow and salt for weeks.

Guy in front of me hits his brakes, so I do the same...and realize I'm sliding.
I Bean screams.
Then we hit.
And he hits the truck in front of him.

My airbag didn't deploy, and my chest hurts, bad. Bean hit her head on my seat, and has a small mark on her face, because she turned her head, so her glasses shielded her from injury. J was completely fine. The paramedics commented on how smart I was to have Bean in a booster seat at the age of 8...shoot, I'm just following the laws (plus Bean is a lightweight at her age).

I don't know much else of what happened that day, because I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance. Had an EKG and and a chest XRAY, and I'm good. Turns out, the seatbelt locked, and with my full weight being thrown at it, I'm just sore. No bruising though...I'm so blessed!

So...thats the condensed version. Im sure there are details for days that I have left out...but that was my Friday.

Shouts to my loving church family, The DC Regional Christian Church ( for coming through in major ways. I called a sister who picked us (me and the younger 2 kiddios) up from the hospital; another brother for grabbing Q from school; the church ministry leaders for putting all 4 of us up in an extended stay hotel for the weekend; the sister who brought me boxes to pack and move; and the entire singles ministry who was ready to drop everything and help me move after church yesterday (but still plans to come through and help me move this coming Saturday instead).

Twice in one day, my life was compromised, but I am still here. Twice in one day, I was reminded of the grace and mercy of God, and I am still here, unhurt and happy.
Situations such as these remind us of why we trust and believe...

*I know that dramatical is not a real word...but I lovew the way it rolls off the tongue!
**FTW=for the win. I know some of you don't 'get' all of my acronyms, so I don't mind helping bring you up to speed!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Working things out

Sorry I've been so quiet lately. After the storm of the century, I have really had to buckle down and get some things done. I am currently rehearsing for a play (The Vagina Monologues, yay!), working with my student, with my kiddios and working out. I'm also seeing the new therapist!

Being in the show has renewed my spirit in acting. I LOVE being an actress...I love the demands, the characterization, love being able to step into someone else's life for awhile, to be able to take someone else to another world for as long as they are suspended in belief. Of course, this play has only one showing, which also works well for my schedule...being a busy momma and all...

As far as therapy, it seems to be going well. I met with the new doctor, and I am very comfortable with her (I just wish she would speak louder! Makes me feel like I'm going deaf!) So, after a long discussion, we decided on a treatment plan. Therapy once a week, and I will meet with the doctor monthly. I am not so gung ho about medication, so after this first month without it, we will decide if medication is best. I am so encouraged by this news. What a great compromise...and I am glad that I was given the option in the first place.

Alrighty folks...just wanted to drop in for a quick update...will be chatting with you again soon! Thanks for hangin' in there with me!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

If I wasn't crazy enough before...

I will be shortly. I am, for the first time in my life, feeling helpless because of SNOW. After spending most of my life in Michigan, I was happy to give away my snow pants and shovels, and pack up my things to move to DC and Maryland.

Last Thursday, I got off work, and headed home, feeling confident that my deep freezer was full of food, and that the gallon and a half of milk in the fridge would hold us through this so called 'snow storm' we were about to get. Now, I have been here almost 2 years, and I had seen what they called snow storms around these parts. To Michiganders, those were days that the kids got excited and begged to go out and play. I'm sure you all remember the day DC schools got cancelled, and President Obama laughed about it publically. Nationally, even. That's what I'm talkin about, that's what I expected.

But no.

We got the NorEasterElNinoSlamDunk of all snowstorms.

And for the first day, I was cool. No biggie. (This was friday)

Then Saturday came. The local news was playing ALL DAY. NON-STOP. No commercials, no news breaks about personal interest stories, no soap operas, nothin! All snowstorm coverage, all traffic (or lack there-of). And to be honest, the NBC Local News 4 did a great job, because I was throughly enthused-them cats were quite entertaining!

Then Sunday came. No church (though a conference call service was held-how cool is that?!?) News was still saying dont drive if you mustn't. I saw firetrucks and ambulances with snow tires and chains on the wheels STUCK in the snow! Now, I can drive in snow...but I wasn't about to go anywhere!

Not only that, but I clown folks regularly for making a big fuss over a little bit of snow. See, here in MD, they aren't used to more than a couple inches of snow, so they dont have the proper equipment to handle it. Only a few thousand plow trucks, a few hundred tons of salt...stuff like that. Residents don't know how to drive in this stuff, because they usually don't have to.

Which makes me afraid.

Read again.

Now, I can drive in snow...but I wasn't about to go anywhere! Residents don't know how to drive in this stuff, because they usually don't have to.


So annyway...

Monday comes along, and I finally go out on my steps to see the damage. The plow trucks have come through my apartment complex...and there is a 6ft tall mountain of snow blocking my car in. Not to mention the 3 feet on top of the car, and on the ground around Whitey Ford as well.

I used my neighborhood, friendly soundboard to make my plea for help (Facebook saves the day once again!)...screaming about my cabin fever, lack of fruit, milk and cereal. Luckily, an adventurous few made their way through the snow towards me (clowning me all the way, might I add...YES, this snow DID get the best of me! I can admit it) and brought me my staples, and shoveled me out of Antarctica. Thanks God for folks with serving hearts and adrenalin!

Today, I made my way out into the element, using my 16 years of driving through Michigan winter skills, filled up Whitey Ford's tank and went to the grocery store. That took a total of 3 hours from start to finish, with 5 of those minutes being filling the tank, a total of 15 minutes driving, and another 25 actually shopping. (The grocery store is a quarter of a mile from my house). So, if you're doing the math, you realize that I spent 2 hours and 15 minutes in the parking lot of the grocery store. Confucius told Nostradamus that 2012 was coming early, along with Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow and Deep Impact...all they needed was the Book of Eli (shout out to my favorite disaster, end of the world movies).

Got home safely. Praise God for that.

I have been emailing back and forth with my supervisors, AYDExtroidanaire and The Songstress...talking about how the girls are gonna be once program begins again later this week...

And I get an email stating "See you Thursday(?!)", meaning that DC public school are closed AGAIN tomorrow (as they were today and Monday). So, I go to the website for my own kids school district.

And I saw what has given me an extra 36 beautiful and luxurious gray hairs.

My kids are out of school until NEXT TUESDAY.

That means we will have been stuck together, in this house for a full 12 days. 12 "Wii playing, house cleaning, do your homework again, read all of the Harry Potter Books and watch the movies too, you'd better recycle those clothes because Im not taking them to the laundromat in this snow" days.

If I wasn't crazy enough before...I will be shortly.

Y'all...pray for me.

or better yet,
pray for the kiddios.


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Its been a long time coming...

Hey there readers...

Sorry I haven't been on the job lately...things have been slightly hectic here, and priorities have had to take the front seat.

First things first, after lots a prayer (and a bit of fasting), I got good results about my health. The thing that I was most afraid of is not what the issue is, and I couldn't be more happy. However, I do have some more minor issues, but nothing so big that I can't deal with it on my own, without a physician prescribing something.

Because of this, I have turned into quite a swimmer! Swimming has turned into my favorite form of exercise, because (Imma be honest with you guys) I'M LAZY. When I'm in the pool, I feel like its fun, even if I'm just swimming back and forth. It doesn't feel like 'work'...perfect for me! As a severe asthmatic, its helping to build up my lung capacity, which is a bonus. I don't have a set workout just yet, so I make sure I swim back and forth for about an hour, then I do a few laps in a resistance pool, and I feel great afterwards. So, if you're needing to workout, but just can't seem to get it together, try finding a local recreation center with an indoor pool (The Sports and Learning Complex in Prince George's County is where I go, only $18 a month for a county resident membership!)

Also, I have had lots of things going on with the kiddios. Folks are on restriction right now...handing out punishments while thinking about AYD is HARD! The momma in me wants to punish without thought, but the AYD worker in me wants to make sure I don't crush their spirits (clearly, the momma doesn't care!)

Finally, I have FINALLY found a therapist that I like! I have my first full session with her on the 17th of February, but even my preliminary consultation was amazing. So professional and inviting, this doctor will be nothing like the last (I'm hoping). I will keep you updated on how things go.

So readers...whats up with you?

Thursday, January 14, 2010 bad

I know its been a good minute since I last posted; please accept my most sincere apologies for that. I have been getting back to life after the vacation, dealing with my middle schooler who has a 1.47 GPA, yet doesn't wanna go to the neighborhood high school (you have to apply to get into the high school you want around here, kinda like college-and a 1.47 would only get him laughed at)...going back to work, looking for a new residence (mad early, our lease isn't up until the end of July, but I really want to move this year!), and my physical health. Mental health is still an issue, but physical is taking over.

Had my annual physical yesterday, and some really unsettling things were found.

Please bear with me. It is my intention to continue this blog on purpose (AYD, mommahood and dealing with my depression), but it may turn into something else, depending on my mood. I appreciate you reading so far, and hope you will continue. I especially appreciate the comments; not only does it let me know that you're reading, but I get a look into your lives, your insights. You offer me ideas that I take away to work with. I look forward to your words.

So, as we go into 2010, I look forward to being here with you all.

Please please please go to the doctor folks. So often, we go about life with minor aches and pains, pop a pill and think nothing of it, yet something bigger is developing inside of us. Paying for insurance is something adults seem to have to do, but grown ups actually take advantage of it. If you have it, be a grown up.

See you next time,


Sunday, January 3, 2010