Sunday, February 5, 2012

What I've been up to...

Hey all!  I've been pretty busy lately...and forgive me for being a neglectful blog mother.  However, I'd like to invite you over to my new project, with hopes that you can  follow along and support me there.

The Hands and Feet of Him  is my new blog/project, following my journey to Europe this coming summer.  I am hoping that you will be inspired to get out and do something on your own...but if not, support me in any way you can, and just enjoy taking the journey with me.

I hope to see you there!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Daddy issues...

So...alot of blogs have come out lately, addressing this notion of 'daddy issues' when it comes to women, how they live their lives and how their choice of companion is affected by this. (See this one)

Which of course, makes me reflect upon myself.

My parents were together for the first 7 years of my life.  Of course, being a young girl, I only saw what I wanted to see of my life, and at that point, school and cartoons made up most of my day.  I honestly do not remember most of that time, for whatever reasons, and that's fine with me.  Had there have been something scarring enough to have emblazoned itself on my memory, I'm sure it would have, so I am lead to believe that those 7 years were not so bad.

However, things must have been bad at some point, because when we were 7, mom packed up my brother and I and moved us across town.

Now, I am not going to sit here and say that daddy was never around, because that's just not true.  He came to visit, took us to see family, hung out with us...all kinds of things.  I never felt disconnected from my daddy.  He was my Superman!  Even when momma moved us 90 miles away, we still had our every other weekend visits with him, which was cool.  There was a custody battle that ensued, and because of it, every June 15 (for a few years straight) my brother and I moved from one parent's home to the other.  When I look back on it now, I actually liked that arrangement.  It was pretty cool with me.

While living with momma, I learned how to work hard, because as a single mom, that's what she did.  While living with daddy, I learned to cook and clean, and how to manage my money.  These are things that my paternal grandmother (my 'best friend' at the time) and my stepmother helped teach me as well.  I still never had the whole disconnect from my father.

Now that I am an adult, I totally see my father's influence on me, and my choices for relationships with men.  Glad to have almost always had him there, I knew what to look for in a mate, because of who he was, and who I loved him as.

  • I know that I want someone who has begun to establish himself, but not yet at his peak.  I mean, let's be honest, I have 3 kids.  I need to know that you will be able to take care of us while I am doing that same for you.  This also leaves room for growth, since neither of us are at our peak.
  • I know that I wouldn't mind him having children already, because my father taught me how to accept someone who already has their own, and how to blend a family.  This is important to me, since I am unable to have anymore myself.
  • We must carry the same beliefs.  I have tried to stray from this in the past, only to find that it really does bring up ALOT more questions and issues than either one of us were ready for, and neither of us knew how to deal.
  • I know that I must be submissive in certain instances, and that I am to be a support system, even when I do not agree completely with a decision that has been made. (And "I told you so" is NOT acceptable, because really, what help is that?)

Other things that I got from my father:

  • Hiding my pains: while going through my bout with cancer, I only told a few people.  I don't know if anyone really knew how serious it was, but I know FOR SURE that my daddy didn't know.  By that time, he already had congestive heart failure, and I didn't need him having another heart attack on me.  Little did I know that he also was keeping a huge secret of his own...
  • My spontaneity for travel:  I can hop on the road and take a trip anywhere, anytime.  As long as Ive got the fund and a working vehicle, (and my iPod, of course)
  • Our love of music.  I don't think I need to expand on that one...

I am grateful to not have had to deal with 'daddy issues' like some others.  Though we didn't always live in the same home, I was never very far from mine.  Even as an adult, he stepped right back into 'being daddy' when I needed him to.  We had our own issues, but he helped shape me into who I am today, and who I seek to spend tomorrow with.

Something I got to honor him while I was away...I miss my Superman...

...thanks for reading.  Until next time...


Sunday, February 6, 2011

busy bee, happy new year to me!

yep, once again, I've been slackin!  To bring you up to date (QUICKLY), I am in the process of:
finding a new home
  • going full time in my formerly part time position
  • talked my cousin (who cancelled her wedding, in a panic) into having her wedding anyway, and making sure she calls her Maid Of Honor (=me) if she decides to panic again
  • deciding what schools my kids should go to, since we're switching mid-year and all.
So, my bad for being lazy, but I haven't forgotten.  I'm making major moves here!  I'll be back soon.  Thanks for being so patient with me!


Saturday, December 25, 2010

Happy Holidays

Just wanted to wish everyone happy holidays. 

As for myself and the kiddios, we are doing well.  Last night, we made a trek of an hour and a half to go to a Christmas Eve worship service at a church we are building relationships with, and it was totally worth it.  We will be spending time with friends from church today, remembering the true reason for the holiday.

BoyWonder's birthday is on New Years Eve, so we will be home, having a sleepover that night (hopefully, the safest place for us...but even still, pray for my sanity!  7 or 8 boys, aged 12 to 14....good Jesus! What was I thinking?!?)

I Probably will not get back to this blog in the next week, but would like to wish you and yours a rather prosperous New Year.

Be safe out there, and make wise decisions!
Until next time...

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Had to write it...

So.  Ive been thinking about this post ALL DAY.  And here it is, 11:11pm, and I am just now bringing myself to do it.  Im hoping that i can keep this VERY short and sweet, just get to the point and get it over with.

A few days ago,a close friend of mine wrote This Blog, and of course I commented.  It was about her dreaming about a situation surrounding her deceased father, and her having to 'let go'.  I was close to tears reading it, and wondered in the comments if it would take something like that for me to begin letting go.  I mean, her father has been gone for years, and she's still grieving.  Daddy has only been gone since June2009, and it feels like the pain will never go away.


I was dreaming.  I was back in Muskegon, MI, visiting family, I'm guessing, since I really don't have any other reason to be there.  I don't really remember much of the dream, except the end.  I am sitting in the backseat of someone's SUV with my girl Peaches (who lives here in DC now, but we grew up together), and my cousin, Chris (who, ironically, still lives there, and is Lt. Fire Chief).  Its dark outside, and I'm guessing its around midnight, and we hear a marching band.

Marching band in Muskegon Hts. is a huge deal.  EVERYONE is in band...the Band Director, Mr. Moore, went to FAMU, and treated us like we were in college.  We played songs that were currently playing on the radio, formations were tight, we even danced.  Band was hot.

So when we heard the band at nearly midnight, we were slightly shocked, but knew they were getting some good work in.  I looked over at Peaches, who said something to the effect of "Go ahead, Mr. Moore, work them out!", and I smiled as well, knowing what she meant.

Band in the Heights...well Muskegon Hts. Tiger pride, is a huge thing within the alumni of the school, so there are always community members volunteering to do whatever they can to help out.  Former band members (now middle aged adults) often march alongside of the band, for safety reasons, as well as to keep lines straight, march steps on time, etc.

For some reason, I think we wanted to get out of the SUV and watch, so my cousin opens my door, and I look out at the band.

"Oh my God, that's my daddy".

I saw him, but he didn't see me.  He was too busy making sure the band members were doing the right thing.  He was waving at the neighbors who came out to watch the band (at midnight, like it was a parade).  He was smiling and he was happy, but he didn't see me.  I began crying, bawling hysterically.  I don't know what else happened around me...I just remember crying.

And then I woke up.

It hurt my feelings to wake up.  I saw La at church today, and she thanked me for commenting on her blog, and I poured this story out...and by the end, we were both in tears.

I don't know what this means...but I had to get it out.  I wish I had a dream interpreter...or at least an appointment with Dr. Sistagirl...

Until next time...

Friday, November 12, 2010

An Update


once again,it's been a minute, but believe me, this blog hasn't been the only thing neglected. I've been crazy is what it is!

So. I got an AMAZING second job. AMAZING. No, really...its AMAZING. I don't think I can stress that enough.

So, since the cancer, I've been on this whole 'natural hair kick'. The first products I used were by Oyin Handmade, a really small company run by a husband and wife (and HoneyBaby) team...where everything is (duh) handmade in small batches. Well, they have grown a bit, and have a staff now, and are still equally as amazing as they were when they started. I have been a fan since the whole 'incident' of losing my hair (actually, before it began before that...but still)...I mean a HUGE fan. Stalkerish, even.

So imagine my glee when they tweeted an open position in their Baltimore kitchen! Talk about excited..I IMMEDIATELY emailed my completely irrelevant and lacking of past experience though I really have some resume to the GrandMixtress herself. Then imagine the smile I had on my face when I got the email asking me to come in for an interview (which was scheduled for a Tuesday, but I literally BEGGED to do it ealier, IF they were available...which they were!!) And then imagine the outrageous squeal that I had to choke back when I saw the phone ring...and I was happy when my lights flashin cuz Oyin's on my receiver, OH! (No Lady Gaga).

So I am officially an Oyin HoneyBee, a.k.a. WorkerBee. I work 'in the lab', cooking up all of the goodies that I love so much. I do still work with my students, this is now my morning job. But of course, with working 2 jobs, one of which is in Ballamo' (as my lovely co-workerBees like to claim it) I'M DOG TIRED. My bad for neglecting yall reader folk for a minute...but I've been sleeping so well since starting!

SideNote: I haven't been seeing Dr.Sistagirl. She came down with a crazy allergy issue, and has to have some sort of surgery, so its been weeks. I honestly haven't worried about it either...but one of my good friends has, which got me to thinking about it. Wonder how THAT is helping me out...

The kiddios are doing great. The Cadet is in the kitchen fixing me a perfectly browned grilled cheese sammich as I type this #BeingACookingTeensMomROCKS! Boy Wonder seems to be getting along nicely (fighting back when he needs to, ugh!) and Bean is Bean. She gets along with everyone (except her brothers) all the time. As expected.

...and as I type this, someone is annoying Bean. Gotta go put out an AYD fire...until next time...

Monday, October 25, 2010

Natural Hair Ramblings... hair has been doing all sorts of wonderful beautimous things lately, and I think I am slightly turning into a product junkie. Not a great thing, since I live in an apartment with limited space, but if I don't try a bunch of things, how will I know what works for me...right? Right.

So, for this past week, I've been wearing my hair in 2strand twists....which I absolutely love, because I don't have to wet and comb the bush, and the twists are so versatile. I curled the ends of them using just a spritz of water, then slept in flex rods overnight, and the curls are still there. (That's THEE best!) I invested in a great, cooking grade coconut oil and have been applying lightly here and there. Last night, I untwisted and shook, then "loose bunned" them for sleeping(I did this so I wouldn't mat them while sleeping). I just let the bun down,and am in love with my hair today. Just thought I'd share.

The plan for the hair this week is to wear the twist out for as long as I can, as long as it still looks good. Then I need to deep condition, and might either retwist, or braid this mass up. I'm thinking of adding a little bit of baking soda to the conditioner, and letting it sit for a few hours, possibly even overnight before rinsing. I have a new product that I'd like to try...but its one of those "big name" products, and honestly, I'm a little scared. I can't pinpoint why...maybe I'm afraid I'll be disappointed...who knows, but I am.

My hair is the longest its been in years now. When it was twisted, it had the weight it needed to hang down...and its almost reaching BSL (Bra Strap Length). I am excited to see how my hair has grown, and can't wait to see what all I can do with it. 4 years ago, I had completed my cancer treatments, and ended up cutting off my hair to keep from shocking myself when it all began to fall out. Lucky for me, I didn't have the usual baldness associated with cancer...but still, after having shoulder length locs, any loss was a big one. So today, I am celebrating what I do have.

Yeah...just like me...a rambling blog. Ha. Funny. Hope you was just on my mind.

Until next time...