Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Double duty

So today, I was challenged to use my AYD training in my home life.

woo. hard work.

So I get to work today, and am setting up my classroom, preparing for the girls to come in, when I get a call from Q's guidance counselor. She explains that she has my 8th grader in her office. There was a girl that he's been bothering for about a week; pulling her hair, throwing things at her, and finally hitting her in the face. I instantly thought "This boy likes her...sheesh"...anyway, the counselor asked him why he did it, and he says "I was just irritating her" (and then I KNEW for a fact that he likes her).

The counselor explains that the girl hasn't said anything to anyone until today, because he hit her in the she came crying to the counselor. Counselor calls Q out of class, describes the details the girl gave her, and does not deny one bit of it. She then calls me.

Explains the situation to me...and of course, I am already slightly heated that I got this phone call, at work, no less. I ask her repeatedly "Is he going to be disciplined?", and she keeps saying that the administration doesn't know about this (umm...why not? Aren't you a counselor? Isn't that administration?) She felt like she should call me on it before all else. So I let her know Yes, I will speak to him on the matter, but should this girl go home and tell her parents, my son will be disciplined in school. Don't get me wrong, I full well believe that he SHOULD be disciplined. He has no right to harass this child like this, like her or not. I ask the counselor to let him know that he should come straight home today, missing his beloved drum lesson, and I will speak to him then.

My co-workers overheard the call, and saw my reaction. The mom in me was upset, and felt one way. So they asked the AYD trained youth development worker to think about what to do. COME ON, MAN! I didn't feel like using AYD! This is my child!

yeah. HELLO!

Earth to Yonna. My kids are the reason why I know AYD works. After my first day of training, I began using it at home. They proved to me what the big deal was. I will admit, I didn't want to hear the harsh dose of reality they were trying to open my eyes to...I wanted to be the upset mom. I had my chance.

And then I taught my program. All of this went out the window for a few hours.

So I came home, and spoke to my son. I explained that yes, I am disappointed, but no, I'm not mad. He would not be punished (by me at least...if the school does anything I won't fight it). I explained that I know that he 'likes' her (and he grinned in embarrassment), but now that he is in middle school, this elementary routine is not the way to go about it. We have talked about him respecting women and girls, but maybe he thinks that only applies to his mother and sister. We discussed other ways to get a girls attention, how to let her know that you 'like' her without pulling hair, throwing things, or other things that his sister's 3rd grade peers are doing.

What he really needed was someone to let him know they understand what its like, and show him the right way to go about doing it. He has come to the decision that it may be too late with this girl, that he may never get on her good side again, but he wants to write her an apology card. I agreed, this may be a good thing to do, and I will help him.

Its funny how much this AYD really does leak into my home life. It has completely changed the way I think about kids, as well as myself. I will admit that I have been raised to be an adultist, but I am learning my way out of it as well. Its a long road, but I am working toward the end of it.

1 comment:

  1. aww a crush.....I believe you handled it very well, from the momma side and the AYD side...LOL...intermixing those seems to be getting you far, from what you say on FB your kids seem to be the greatest!!!! and well on their way to upstanding citizens!